tired and weary

It was the day after I formally started as a first year resident. I really don’t know if it was because it was my first day doing it or it was because it was really a bad day or maybe, I’m just not really up to it.

As was required of all of us, I tried my best to finish and accomplish all the things that needed to be done, including updating the consultants and the patient records. I slept nary a wink, but it was ok, I said to myself. At least I would be able to endorse my patients and things would be okay.

And that was when I realized that no matter if I did everything humanly possible to do, there will always be something left out, unaccounted for and ultimately MY fault.

I won’t be elaborating anymore, it’s tiring as it is already. And it didn’t help that I had to stay far longer than I needed to because we had a case presentation that we needed to prepare for as well.

I went home dead tired, both physically and emotionally. Everyone was asleep when I got home save for my youngest brother who opened the door for me. I originally planned to do some work before retiring for the night, but the human body can aonly endure so much, what more the spirit. I was alseep in no time.

I’m just hoping that this is just an exception and not the norm of what my life will be like in the coming days.

~ by allen mallari on January 4, 2009.

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